Depression rears it's ugly head``

The last few days I have found myself looking at life in a darker tone. Now, today, I can feel depression in my thinking. I feel like nothing I do is ever enough or good enough for anyone. I feel hated, isolated, and sad. Crying will surely follow soon. I go to my doc in a few days; I'll be ok until then. I find it hard to even get out of bed, so it looks like they'll have to change my meds one more time. It sucks to have this affliction. I also may have Asperger's; the last doctor in the hospital told me he thought I did. See, I have been living under the belief that I was retarded and no one would tell me. I am going to be tested for Asperger's, and if I have it I will have been right; I am/was socially retarded. I run through the scenarios in my mind about my parents or any adult teacher, counselor, coach, would have noticed and gotten me help, my life would have been different. No lost jobs because ' I'm just not the right fit."  And my wife and kids need and deserve much better than me. I worked hard, like my Mama told me before she died' Son no one can ever say that you didn't try and give all you had, be proud of that because I am proud of you" Well, Mom, sorry to say my best wasn't good enough. I feel as though I am a mistake, and that I have poisoned my sons with my screwed up head.So how do you know you are getting depressed and what do you do about it?