I just realized I have not shared my whole story with you guys. About six years ago, I went into a deep depression. It wasn't psychotic depression, but started me on the road to psychosis. I was prescribed Lexapro and Klonopin, and sent on my way. Shortly after this, I began to have delusions. My delusions were of God telling me a plan to kill Osama Bin Laden and other terrorists. Anyone whom I perceived as as being in my way would incite violence from me. At the same time I became very paranoid my wife was plotting against me ( my most common delusion). I heard voices I interpreted as God. I was destroying chemical weapons at my job at the time, and I went to work and drove a forklift around them, and tried to climb a water tower. My best friend had me sent home, and I was in the hospital that day. While in the hospital, I was diagnosed as having mania, and Bipolar I disorder. In the hospital, I saw writing on the wall and visions of people dying in a nuclear explosion; was very scary and agitated me. After Haldol shots, I started to get better, not seeing things any more. This started me down the road of trying pretty much every medication available, gaining weight, and even sedated to the point of incontinence. Since then, there have been four separate manias, each similar to the first one, but not as bad as the first one. My last hospitalization was in March of this year; I though God wanted me to take my family and live in the woods, and that my wife and coworkers were plotting to keep me from doing this.
They are the real victims of this; my family suffers right along with me. My kids don't understand where I go for 7-10 days, and I am very lucky to have an understanding wife. Anyone else want to share their story? Until tommorow, go eat at Chick-Fil-A today.
BB
No comments:
Post a Comment